Yesterday was Nigel’s first birthday. We are planning on going to the Montclair Malt Shop to get him some Frosty Paws. We actually celebrated by going to Thai food… hehe. No really, we went to dinner at the Berkeley Thai House, and it was a bit disappointing. It was definitely a busy night, so we were okay about them not refilling our waters or even checking in on us. But while I was still eating, they dropped the bill on our table. So, B politely asked if we could actually order some dessert. The woman replied, “Sorry no, we need this table.” I was a little pissed. I was pissed because we were there for no more than twenty minutes….. B and I eat pretty fast, especially when we’re starving. Since I am a dessert fiend, I would have inhaled the freakin’ thing in no more than five minutes, TOP. I am not that particular when it comes to restaurants, but I will say that if one denies me dessert, I will never go back there again.

So, Berkeley Thai House, poo on you. I hope you shit yourself.

Along with a million other people, I decided to join a gym for 2007. How cliche is this? haha…. well, i really need to make this damn resolution stick, dammit! so, i signed up for 12 sessions with a personal trainer so that I wouldn’t give up so easily this time. LET ME TELL YOU….. she kicks my ass in gear so hard, that saying that I feel like I got hit by a truck is merciful! ow, ow, ow… But alas, this is something that I need. Yes, yes, yes…. it is something that I need.

School is a little overwhelming this quarter. (trying to be polite.) I added an evening class that I surprisingly enjoy, so I do not mind that. It’s my conducting class that I want to get out of oh-so-desperately! I do not mind the work, (even though it is taking up more time that I had hoped for, and wish I could just concentrate on my thesis), it’s that I really do not like it!!! I am not sure if this is very bad for me to say being in my field, but I can’t help it. I admit it, I give up, I DON’t LIKE iT!! It is unfortunate because I like the teacher, know that he is very good, and should feel good that I am learning from such a great teacher. But seriously folks, not fun for me. I know, I’m terrible…. call me names, I don’t give a flying fuck. I just hate it. Doesn’t help that my learning disabilities (which I thought were in the past… that is, until this course), is making it a more arduous process. Knowing now how much more work I will need to put in compared to the average student is driving me bonkers. (hmm… that there folks, was just a passive-aggressive confession. oh well, who reads this thing anyway.) Bah. Well, I’ve come this far without mentioning it, so whatever. I’ll just bear with the fucking thing. Once again, BAH, BAH, BAH!!!

My goodness, what a rant. On a good note, the stuff I came up with during winter break for my composition was crap. But, actually knowing that it was crap confirms my own hesitations toward it. I can move on, fix it, and get back on track. I was a bit derailed during that break. Always after my lesson, I am on this incredible high and feel so inspired. Let’s try and avoid major crashes, shall we? Phew!

I have lost control. I am becoming more and more obsessed with my dog. There used to be a time when I rolled my eyes when I saw dogs with clothes on. (Well, I still do that when they are completely over the top.) For Christmas, Nigel received a little jacket from friends J & S, and I just can’t get over how darn cute it is. It is also perfect because it protects him from the rain. (These single coat dogs are wimps.)

Unfortunately though, he ate poop the other day. Luckily, he found out that he didn’t like it, and tried to spit it out. Despite the fact that we rinsed his mouth, brushed his teeth, sprayed doggy mouth wash, and gave him a parsley bone, I still cannot bring myself to let him lick me. Actually, his breath has never smelled better! But the whole thing was a little psychologically damaging. So, poo-mouth here, is trying to figure out what’s wrong with us. We’ll have to get over it soon, i guess.

i don’t think i have ever reflected on any year as much as i have for this one. 2006 has been a year for beginnings and endings for me. as painful as some of the events were, i look forward to 2007 as a stronger person. these past couple days especially, have opened my eyes to a lot of bull shit that i will not allow this year. it really is too bad that sometimes a tragedy is what makes people wake up. and fucking hell, why does it have to be so tragic.

the biggest realization for me this past year, was the fact that i acknowledged that i am not a verbal person. i am not a smooth talker, a socialite, nor can i keep up many conversations. and nor do i care anymore. i am the ultimate bumbling bee. but now, it doesn’t bother me because i realize that i communicate better in writing, (in both forms). this may be a trait that seems a bit small and trivial, but it really did open a shit load of a can of worms for me. so for 2007? it will be exciting to see how it goes. as sad as this year may have ended, it was the ultimate punch in the face that was highly overdue.

so here goes:

+ for B: keep on rockin’.
+ for D: don’t worry, you’ll find it.
+ for I : you don’t know it yet, but you’re a miracle.
+ for me: bzzzzzzzzzz…………