The interchange between 80W to 880 collapsed on Sunday morning. 80 splits to 880 and 580E. Right at that split is where the overpass collapsed, and right at that split is where I take 580E to Hayward. Commute hell? probably….. I guess I’ll find out today and on Thursday morning.

On Saturday night, I dragged my sister to a concert in the city. It looked like it had true potential, and I was excited to hear some new music. We ended up leaving early, but not early enough. I decided right then and there, that I do not really like algorithmic compositions. I have not yet heard a composition that I like which uses algorithms. We sat in the balcony during the second half of the concert so that we could see how many heads were faced parallel to the ground, still, silent, and asleep. During that time, I realized why no one goes to listen to classical music anymore. At least not NEW classical music. A composition based on an algorithm limits an audience. Only a handful of people understand it. No one else likes or understands it. From what I can see, this very elite handful of people are at universities, conservatories, and under rocks. Which means: 12 people at UC Berkeley, 9 people at Stanford, and ladee-dah… pointless to count. So, if there are only about 200 people in the world that listens to this, then, well, you see where I’m going with this? No one goes. No one gives a flying shit. Certainly, I didn’t give a shit and had to leave before the last piece. I was hungry, sad, and bitchy. Maybe people just don’t go to listen to classical music in general though. Whatever it is, I wouldn’t blame them for not wanted to listen to a concert like this one. ALTHOUGH, I did like one piece very much. I thought it was engaging and it kept my interest. So, I did pay money for something.

On a yummy note, I ate at Poncho Villa in the Mission after the concert. That place is sooooo good. Never get a chance to get over there these days. I miss living in the city sometimes, but I do very much appreciate that I am living in my own home.

I went to Composer’s Inc. last night with B to listen to Dr. L’s piece. B said that it was his favorite piece on the program, and I laughed my ass off when he described why he liked it to me. I thought I was listening to Sean Penn in ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’. However, during the music, a cell phone rang behind us. I was annoyed, but then tried to get back into listening to the piece. As if the cell phone wasn’t annoying enough, an old man that was sitting in front of us started chuckling after it rang. Thirty-five seconds later, the cell phone beeped to alert the retarded audience member that he had a message. (Why didn’t he just turn the fucking thing off? it’s a mind blowing mystery.) It just killed it for me, and I was thoroughly distracted at that moment. Then I got all parnoid that people might have thought that it was us! I am so OCD about turning my phone off during concerts and classes. You will literally see me check my phone at least three times before anything starts to be assured that my phone wouldn’t magically turn itself back on. Actually, it wasn’t too difficult to go back into the music again, so I survived. B on the other hand, wanted to chew that guy out and I had to grab his arm to make him stop.

We had to run off to another show, so we left after L’s piece to go to the Hotel Utah. My sister was performing with a band called Arcadio. It was fun, and I hadn’t been to the Utah in years. Not to be biased or anything, but my favorite songs were the ones she played on. We couldn’t hear her on the first song because the sound guy must not have realized how much quieter a viola is compared to a amp’d rock band, (and yes, she was plugged in). Regardless, a mic’d viola can’t compete all that well to two guitars, bass, and drums. They turned her up later, so it was good in the end.

Today was a bit useless for me. I woke up with a famous Nancy migraine. I pounded some drugs, slept for most of the day, and now I’m trying to make something useful of the time I have left …… hahaha… like, haha, writing in this blog!! Well, I’m all loopy now, but at least my headache has subsided. So, I will be composing for the rest of the evening because I’m excited about this idea I have. Off to numero 2!

p.s. title has not reflection of this entry, as if you hadn’t noticed already.

Last week, I promised myself that I would finish the first movement of my trio. So, after a night of drinking at my friend’s house on the Tuesday night, I got crackin’ first thing on Wednesday morning. I played it for B later that evening and he said that there was something up with it, but could not figure out really what it was. I shrugged my shoulders knowing FULL WELL what he was talking about. But, I didn’t care. I wanted it to be done.

I went to my lesson the following day and while listening to it, I had to cringe a little. “Oh Nancy, what the hell? Just for the sake of finishing it?”

Still, I continued to make myself believe that it was done. But then, in a polite manner (always in a polite manner), Dr. L expressed that it was a piece of crap and never to let foot in his door again. (haha, just kidding.) I held up my white flag and I knew exactly what was wrong. “Oh Nancy, what the hell? Just for the sake of finishing it?”

This stupid ending was going to kill me. I thought about it over, over, over…..oh god, i want it to be over, and then, it came to me. I whipped out the sucker and finished the details on Wednesday. When I went to my lesson, I could feel my heart rate speed up a little as we approached the ending. “That’s it. That’s what it needed.” aaaaahhhhhhh, music to my ears.

On to the second movement. Let’s get this one done sooner, shall we?

So, I was hanging out with my buddy (’Confidence vs. Jerk’ blog entry) again, and he brought along his friend, ‘T’. We hung out for about two hours, and I had to get away. After this, I decided that my ‘Confidence vs. Jerk’ entry paled in comparison to how much more annoyed I was at ‘T’s personality. Low and behold, I met, ‘I have something bad to say about everything’-man. Aya! Basically, the conversation went like this…..

“That composer sucks…..blah, blah, blah…….poseur…. blah, blah… I hate the way he uses… blah, blah, blah…”

I then asked, “Well then, who DO you like?”

“I like so-and-so, BUT…. blah, blah, blah…..and I like so-and-so, but…. blah, blah, blah…”

Was this guy for real? Listening to criticism after cricism, I wanted to scream. Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up!!! As time went on, I started feeling ill as I was sprayed with verbal vomit. I politely listened and laughed at his comments though, but then I could not help myself and said, “It’s so easy to be critical, isn’t it?” I wondered if ‘T’ was trying to impress me with his knowledge and criticisms towards everything. If so, I could not see the point seeing as though I am a new, learning, composer. Maybe he wanted to be a mentor of some sort….. bwa-hahahahahaha!

Now I feel like I am complaining as much as he did. Well then, let me just end with this:

I felt like I was listening to a barking dog. After two hours, no one wants to listen to a barking dog that eats shit.

Today is the last day of Spring Break. I go back to school tomorrow, and my first class is with Dr. Stein. I can’t say that I was very productive (with composition) during this break. I have had this incredible urge to just get the hell away from here, and it didn’t happen during this break. So, my camping, weekend getaway, coastal tour, SoCal visit ideas were all a bust. Instead, I did….

Monday: spent the day with a friend and her 3 month old that were visiting.
Tuesday: Dentist, Work
Wednesday: Work
Thursday: Work
Friday: spent day with Isa and cousin to help w/move
Saturday: Work, clean, groceries, composed
Sunday: run more errands to tie up loose ends, help cousin

I really need to get AWAY. I need to clear my head so that I can focus on some important things right now. There’s a lot of clutter in my head and unfortunately, people are cluttering it even more. It’s hermit time for Nancy again. I go through these phases where I can’t deal with other people and their problems, and I just need to hermit out for a while. More unfortunately, I like helping people and try to be a good listener, but most times, it just doesn’t come back around for me. Which is fine, dandy, and okay, but I just need a break. It can’t be just a day off. I have to get away from the AREA. I love camping because I can be outdoors, be dirty, not care about how things are or how they should be, and get some fucking peace and quiet. Three days? two days? anything.

So Spring Break, it’s just never enough time. I looked forward to you all Winter quarter, and you teased me. You made me believe that I would get away and be refreshed. Instead, you pulled the rug out beneath me and I hit my head hard. Ow. I rub my head. And now I go back with a bump on my head and a bruise on my knee.

Summer. Glorious summer.